“Get away from me. You’re so stupid! Nobody needs you! You’re ugly! Get out of my face.”
These harsh and cruel words, among others, were viciously repeated by several female students and hurled at another classmate during art class. As a volunteer in the school that day, I was dumbfounded.
By the way, the “mean” girls and the one being demeaned in front of my eyes are in first grade. All of them around the age of 6.
Although there were two adults in the room, including the full-time teacher, it didn’t matter. The vitriol didn’t cease regardless of how many times the three of them were told to stop. In fact, it just became more mean. It was shocking and frankly, sickening. These are young children and both the “bullies” and the “target” don’t stand a chance without receiving much more intervention at school and at home. At several points, the bullies became the target and the target became the bully which is all too common.
To be clear, the school’s staff has been thoroughly trained in bullying prevention awareness, prevention and intervention. The teachers and administrators seemed caring and competent.
Now and at these ages, though, the only hope is to throw every resource at it in hopes that before these 6-year-olds are online, they learn about empathy, leadership, friendship and respect. It’s frightening to think about the horrible impact this fierce meanness can potentially make once these children get a phone and access to social media in their hands.
Luckily, there are great bullying prevention and online safety resources and experts that:
- understand the challenges of mean behavior on and offline.
- provide thorough information.
- get to heart of what’s on a parent and/or teacher’s mind.
- offer clear tips.
- serve up inspiration and examples of leadership.
To help get the tangled ball rolling and ensure we’re there for kids to the best of our abilities, here are top 7 picks for 2024 (and more to come as the year progresses):
Questions about everything from how to define bullying and cyberbullying to an explanation of federal and state laws to tips for parents, teachers and kids can be answered here in a comprehensive but approachable manner.
Nervous about whether what your kids are watching, reading, playing online or downloading is age appropriate? Don’t have the time to vet things yourself? Trying to decide when and how to allow your kids to have a phone or sign up for a social media site? This is an invaluable parent tool at your fingertips.
It lets you off the hook. For example, if your 9 year-old son asks if he can play a certain video game or watch South Park just because it’s animated, you can lean on the rating. Sorry! The Common Sense Media rating is 15+.
3. Cyberbullying Research Center
It’s almost impossible to keep up with technology, apps, social media sites, and all things being developed and offered to our children and teens on a daily basis. It may be even more difficult to assess the benefits versus the challenges as they navigate this New Neighborhood. This site consistently keeps users up-to-date with well researched information on everything you need to know.
4. Steve Hartman’s Kindness 101
Even kids and teens need a break from the harshness all around us. To hear stories that uplift, teach kindness and exemplify leadership through the extraordinary stories about ordinary people, check out the dozens of clips on You Tube with Steve Hartman, longtime correspondent for CBS News. His young children also got in the act during the pandemic. They’ve inspired millions of people and who couldn’t use a little more inspiration?
So many resources are geared towards older children but Power of Zero starts with the very youngest. Circling back around to the story told earlier about behavior of first graders, starting early is necessary. The key word is “power.” We have the power to raise and teach children from very young ages to respect themselves and others. The hope is that once they feel empowered, they’ll pass it on. It’s worth a try.
It’s a tangled ball and a critical part of the tangled mess of bullying behavior is mental health. There have been multiple studies that highlight the growing need for to help children and teens with anxiety, depression and other issues that directly impact how they treat others and themselves. (As a matter of fact, bullying ourselves is a real thing.) Our children deserve to feel healthy in every way, including mentally and emotionally, and the Child Mind Institute offers a broad and deep wealth of knowledge.
The one piece of consistent advice that experts tell children when faced with a negative issue is tell a trusted adult. Great advice BUT only if a child has a trusted adult in their life. AND “well-meaning” is not the same as “trust.” One Trusted Adult, founded by author and educator Brooklyn Raney, gets to the core of why the role is critical and provides the necessary tools to actually be good at it. ONE person (that’s you!) can be the difference between a child feeling safe, seen and valued or despondent and alone.
No child should feel alone. Superheroes Unite in 2024. We’re in this together.
